Overcoming Imposter Syndrome.
In the last few weeks, two brilliant and competent individuals told me they are struggling with Imposter Syndrome (IS). I also had a little moment of IS a week ago, and in the past, I unfortunately allowed it to make me feel small and was entirely hindered by it.
It’s a daily struggle for many of us and one worth discussing.
Where does the term Imposter Syndrome come from?
Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes first coined the term “impostor syndrome” when they published “The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention” in 1978. According to Dr. Clance’s website, she struggled with impostor syndrome as a graduate student but thought these worries were unique. It wasn’t until she began teaching at an esteemed liberal arts college, when students came to her with the same feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, that she and Dr. Imes came up with the term. Source
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome (also known as imposter phenomenon, imposter experience, fraud syndrome, and perceived fraudulence) involves intense self-doubt and feeling inadequate and incompetent despite your education, experience, and accomplishments. To counter these feelings, you might work harder, hold yourself to higher standards, and never find the courage to apply for a promotion or follow your dreams.
It is often attributed to academics and employment but can affect all aspects of our lives:
You don’t date someone because you feel they are out of your league.
You feel inadequate being friends with someone because they seem to have it all together and have a perfect life.
You don’t pursue a creative talent like singing, writing, or painting and take it beyond being a hobby because you feel people will judge you.
You don’t share good news about something exciting because you don’t want to upset anyone.
As the research shows, you are not alone if this sounds familiar.
Research.
Up to 82% of people face feelings of impostor phenomenon, struggling with the sense they haven’t earned what they’ve achieved and are a fraud Journal of General Internal Medicine). These feelings can increase anxiety and depression and lead to burnout.
It’s especially prominent for BIPOC, trans, and nonbinary individuals, primarily if they work or study in predominately white and cisgender environments. It’s also more prevalent in females, primarily if they work or study in male-dominated professions, such as technology, finance, and engineering. Source
Do any of these statements sound familiar?
I don’t belong here.
I don’t deserve this.
Everyone is going to find out what a fraud I am.
I shouldn’t have gotten that award because the other candidates were so good.
They are all smarter than me.
I can’t do this.
I’m not worthy.
People will think badly of me.
These feelings may fade once you settle into a new role. Still, if you don’t receive support, validation, and encouragement, you may feel guilt and shame, leading to debilitating mental health challenges.
Dr. Valerie Young, a leading imposter syndrome researcher, describes five main types of imposters in her 2011 book;
The Perfectionist
The Natural Genius
The Rugged Individualist (or soloist)
The Expert
The Superhero
Read a summary of the types here.
Some Tips.
.
Awareness.
Ask yourself how often you have struggled with this and why. Why do you give yourself a hard time? Acknowledge your feelings of self-doubt, and remind yourself that you are worthy of good things.
Celebrate others.
Avoid gossiping or saying nasty things when someone you know accomplishes something remarkable. I’ve heard this one too many times: “I wonder who she slept with to get that job.” People have said this about me after receiving recognition for my hard work.
Decades ago, I worked with a woman who quickly made her way to the top position of a large organization. I remember being surprised and finding it unusual, but the visceral nastiness I heard from others – all women, was shocking. They never saw her CV or participated in her interview and had no idea if she deserved the job. Even if she was underqualified, perhaps the people who hired her felt her personality was a good fit and that she would work hard.
Be kind to yourself.
You probably wouldn’t say any of the above things to a colleague or friend, so why is it okay to be so unkind to yourself? You don’t want to be arrogant or obnoxious about your abilities or accomplishments. You can, however, be confident and proud of your accomplishments and show some humility.
Talk it out.
Reach out for support from a close friend or family member. Express your feelings and obtain a reality check because there is a good chance that no evidence supports your feelings of inadequacy.
If self-esteem and self-doubt have been long-standing issues for you, consider therapy; even a few sessions can help you sort through the source of these feelings and not allow them to be so prominent. You can learn some valuable tools to work through these feelings.
Find mentors and follow the careers of people you admire.
Don’t take anything personally.
Caring too much about what others think can be an impetus for Imposter Syndrome. Don Miguel Ruiz wrote about this in his best-selling book, The Four Agreements, and I wrote about it in a previous blog.
Ruiz says, “When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Here’s an unfortunate truth- when you surpass the expectations that others have always had for you, you can upset them. Doing well can cause their insecurities to come out in destructive ways. You must not give away your power to people like this and rethink whether you want them in your life.
Decades ago, I did groundbreaking work in the criminal justice system and was a key player in implementing Canada’s first mental health court. I received much media attention for this initiative and accolades from judges and lawyers. A few individuals, including someone I considered a close friend, spread nasty rumours about me because they couldn’t deal with my success. I ended the friendship and allowed this to get to me to the point where I had to take a medical leave. I gave my power away to a few insecure individuals and started to believe that I didn’t deserve the attention. I learned a lot from that awful time, and I know that I would never put up with this now. Imposter Syndrome took over my life back then, and now, when I have doubts, I have the tools to work through them.
It’s typical to be nervous when embarking on new and exciting opportunities, but don’t let unfounded feelings of incompetence and self-doubt impede your ability to shine. No one says it better than Marianne Williamson (see full quote in the pic below):
“Your playing small does not serve the world.”
Be well and know your worth.
Anita
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