Reflections on Turning 60.

Today I turn 60!   I’ve never been one to make a fuss on my birthday, not even the big ones.  However, when I hit a milestone birthday, 40, 50 and now 60, I take some time for deep reflection and intention setting.  I like to review the prior 10 years and take an honest look at how my life has been, the choices I’ve made and what I’ve learned.    I also like to clarify how I want the next 10 years of my life to look.  It’s a similar but more in-depth process that I endeavour on each New Year’s Day.  

I thought I would feel a plethora of reactions turning 60; angst, grieve, overwhelm, nostalgia, and I’m honestly just feeling two; astounded at how quickly the last decade has whizzed by and a deep sense of gratitude for so many things.  How blessed I’m I that all of my family and friends have remained healthy during a pandemic? I’m so appreciative to be surrounded by the love and support of my peeps that now includes 2 new fur babies and to be living in beautiful Prince Edward County with my lovely husband.  I have time for my self-care, interests and I feel honoured to be teaching the ancient and sacred healing practice of yoga that has saved me.  

Thank goodness perspective, and priorities change, and what matters to me now didn’t even cross my younger mind, and if I could change one thing about my 50’s, it would be to work less.  I’ve passed this advice onto my daughter and anyone else that will listen.  I’m not saying anything is wrong with working hard, but there are more important things in life.  I often worked 7 days a week, and for what?   I’ve repeatedly asked myself why this was necessary and why did I allow it.  Overwork was so familiar to me that I didn’t know what to with downtime-an intense unease would hover over me if I had a weekend off.  This long pattern of intense work impeded my transition to semi-retirement.  

After moving to Picton in July 2019, I felt untethered because my brain was hard-wired to fill every minute with projects, deadlines, deadlines, and more deadlines.  I struggled without the intense structure that dictated my life for decades.  Luckily, my husband made me promise that I wouldn’t get involved in any volunteer work for at least a year.  He knows me so well.  I spent time unpacking, renovating, exploring the County and didn’t start teaching yoga until May 2020. 

The first 6 months were the hardest as I struggled and felt myself circling the drain many times. I meditated, hit the mat, hiked and FELT IT ALL.  Eventually, my nervous system calmed down, and I discovered the importance of slowing down and became very possessive over my time and who and what takes up space in my life.  

My practice has helped me develop a keen awareness of how I’m feeling emotionally and physically, which has prevented me from getting sucked down the drain.  I know that when my emotions start to feel rattled; chocking anxiety, irritability, not feeling like I’m good enough, I know that I must be with these feelings and figure them out before they will dissolve.  

I’m enthusiastic about the next 10 years, knowing that I’ve lived more than ½ of my life (I hope to make it to 100-not counting on 120 or more, but one never knows) is a little frightening and a reminder to focus on what matters.    There is a collective excitement as the world slowly reopens, and I’m thrilled knowing that I will see my family and friends soon.  I can’t wait to travel again, go to the movies, and one of the things I miss the most is reading the paper and enjoying a latte at a favourite café.   I’ve also committed to the following:

My self-care must remain a priority

I fully accept that slowing down is not only inevitable but welcomed

I continue to feel safe, loved and whole

I’m unapologetic about doing what I want and spending time with who I want

Everything that is happening in my life is all on me

I continue to dance to the Ramones at least once a week

I don’t do anything unless I’m all in.  If I’m not sure about something, it’s a no.  

Working on fully accepting myself and others

Feeling it all 

Nothing is more important than being with your loved ones, nothing!!!!

Be well.

Anita