How Yoga Has Transformed My Life.
TRIGGER WARNING-part of this article mentions childhood trauma.
My first memory of yoga is when I was around 12 years old when I noticed my Mother following a yoga class on TV called Kareen’s Yoga. She also had a copy of one of Kareen’s books called the “The ABC of Yoga” and gave one to me when I was 14. I still have my yellowed copy and occasionally still refer to it. This was in the 1970’s; my Mother was ahead of her time and a trailblazer!
My 1st Yoga Book.
My Mother was very agile, and it wasn’t unusual for my brother Gordon and me to find her standing on her head or performing a handstand. I believe yoga helped her immensely in coping with an unhappy marriage and dealing with 4 rambunctious kids on her own as my father travelled a lot.
At this young age, I thought yoga was only about the postures and how flexible I could become, and if I couldn’t do a particular pose, then there was something wrong with me. I did not have a consistent practice and only occasionally experimented with a few postures for fun.
I didn’t become more interested in yoga until after the birth of my daughter Elsa in 1990. Practicing the postures from Kareen’s book helped me recover from childbirth and deal with the general overwhelm of becoming a first time Mom.
It wasn’t until I walked into a yoga studio in Toronto in the early 1990s and smelt the sweet incense that I decided to make yoga a significant part of my life. I became a regular student at this studio, attending drop-in classes a few times a week, taking different courses and finally completing my Yoga Teacher’s Training in Val Morin, Quebec, in 1998.
Yoga has completely changed my life. It has helped keep my tricky back flexible and mostly pain-free and has been instrumental in managing my depression and anxiety and recovering from a traumatic childhood that included physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.
Physical Benefits
I’m not a naturally strong or flexible person, and I have to admit when I first started spending time at a yoga studio, I was intimated by the students that could effortlessly stand on their heads and twists their bodies into seemingly impossible positions. It wasn’t until I started teaching yoga that my view completely shifted, as I discovered that the physical postures (asanas) are only a part of yoga and not the most crucial aspect of a yoga practice
Some of my body changes were slow and subtle, and I appreciated that there was no base level of strength or flexibility needed to get started in yoga. The realization that yoga is for EVERYONE and the importance of honouring where your body is at, is my philosophy in practicing and teaching yoga. When your body is flexible and strong, you are less likely to get injured-it has nothing to do with whether you can touch your toes or not.
My spine has a slight scoliosis, lordosis and kyphosis-so it’s a little twisted, which has also impacted my right SI joint. A regular practice has kept my body strong, flexible and mobile, has prevented injuries and if I am injured-I recover very quickly.
The key has been practicing consistently 3-5 times per week and not necessarily for hours-usually 15-30 minutes at each session will suffice. At times, I’ll just focus on performing a few rounds of the sun salutation. Prevention is part of my health care philosophy, and my steady practice, in conjunction with a monthly massage and chiropractic treatment, has kept me moving well. In the last year, I’ve experienced two acute injuries; an inflamed left radial nerve in May and in January I experienced severe hip pain. During these excruciating times, I saw my physiotherapist and osteopath for treatment, increased my chiropractic treatments and skipped my yoga practice completely. Both of these injuries occurred because I was overdoing it and not completely listening to my body. My treatment team were impressed with my recovery from both injuries, and they all felt that my regular yoga practice and an overall healthy lifestyle contributed to this.
Approaching my yoga practice in a non-judgemental and non-competitive way has completely changed my relationship with my body. I’ve never been able to wrap my foot around my head and never will, and that’s completely fine with me.
The last physical benefit has been my balance. I’ve had a number of head injuries that have impacted my balance because of a skull fracture and inner ear damage. Regular practice of the balancing postures has improved my posture, balance, coordination and concentration.
Emotional/Psychological Benefits
I won’t be going into any detail about my childhood besides mentioning that it was traumatic and my father was quite unpleasant. For most of my life, I have dealt with depression and anxiety-sometimes so severe that I had to take a few medical leaves from work. Yoga didn’t cure my mental health challenges and sometimes didn’t prevent a severe relapse; what it has done is increase my awareness of my mood, and in conjunction with therapy and sometimes medication, has helped my recovery and overall stability.
I had a severe depressive episode in 2002, and I have to admit my yoga and meditation practice at that time was pretty inconsistent. I had a breakdown and was off work for 3 months. In 2014, I had another relapse, but this was completely different. I had a regular meditation and yoga practice and was running on empty for a few years, doing way too much, and when my Mom passed away, I was overwhelmed with exhaustion and grief. I didn’t wait until I collapsed and had to be carried home. I knew that I wasn’t doing well; I went to my boss and told him I needed to take a medical leave. I took 4 months off to recover with the help of therapy, medication and my yoga practice.
I haven’t hadn’t any relapses since 2014 and recently weaned myself off of the antidepressant that I took for 7 years. I still have moments where I feel like I’m entering the depression vortex, but I’ve managed to work through it. I know that my consistent yoga and meditation practice has been paramount in this, in addition to the love and support of my dear husband, daughter, family and friends.
Mindfulness and pranayama (conscious breathing) are critical components of yoga that help inform us about our emotions. When I’m practicing and focusing on how my body and breath feel, I’m also noticing what is going on with my mind. If I observe a negative thinking pattern, I know that I need to explore why I’m feeling this way and experiencing destructive thoughts. It is through this awareness that I’m usually able to work through things quickly and release them. Sometimes I just need to be still, slow my breath down and stay connected to my breath for a few minutes to get centered. Other times, I’ll realize that I haven’t slept well or have been overdoing it, and I’ll make adjustments. When I know that I’m feeling rattled, a long walk in the forest usually grounds me, or I might need a day on the couch binge-watching. On occasion, it’s something bigger and I need to take a deep dive and maybe work through forgiveness and letting go.
This complete soothing of my nervous system has improved my sleep and concentration, increased mental clarity and my overall emotional well-being. I feel the difference when I let my meditation and yoga practice slip. When this happens, I notice that I’m scattered, clumsy, impatient, and irritable, which negatively impacts my relationships and self-acceptance.
Spiritual Benefits
Everything about practicing yoga involves intention; you schedule a time for your practice, move your body in a specific way, and consistently connect your breath to these movements. When you are mindful and deliberate in your yoga practice, you create the opportunity to become more aware and intentional in your life
Yoga encourages transformation by shifting unhealthy patterns in the way you treat your body and mind. It provides a sense of joy and freedom that you experience as express and connect to your true nature.
Yoga has become a lifestyle for me. I’m so grateful for this ancient and sacred practice that started in India thousands of years ago. I appreciate all of the wonderful teachers that have taught me and I continue to learn from and for the hundreds of students that I’ve had the honour of teaching for 23 years.
Be well.
Anita
