How to Support Someone Struggling With Their Mental Health.
Hello!
Mental Health Week in Canada starts today, May 5th, and runs until May 11th, 2025. This year's theme is Unmasking Mental Health, which highlights the importance of shedding the masks people wear to hide their mental health or substance use challenges.
I write about mental health each year because it is just as important as physical health, and it is something that I have struggled with most of my adult life. In this blog, I want to focus on how to support a loved one who is struggling with their mental health.
Before I dive into some support suggestions, I’d like to share a few statistics with you:
More than one in four (28%) of Canadians report that their mental health symptoms affect their daily functioning
More than 1 in 2 people (52%) struggling with their mental health aren’t getting the help they need.
Actual numbers are likely much higher because many individuals do not seek help or support for their mental health struggles and often don’t feel comfortable sharing what they are feeling, even with those closest to them.
The Harmful Effects of Stigma and Discrimination
Unfortunately, stigma and discrimination against individuals struggling with their mental health are still quite significant.
Stigma and discrimination can contribute to worsening symptoms and a reduced likelihood of getting treatment. A recent extensive review of research found that self-stigma leads to adverse effects on recovery among people diagnosed with severe mental illnesses. Effects can include:
reduced hope
lower self-esteem
increased psychiatric symptoms
difficulties with social relationships
reduced likelihood of staying with treatment
more difficulties at work
I have struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. Fortunately, my symptoms have been relatively stable for the last 10 years, with occasional bouts that I seem to recover from quickly. However, I had many rough moments and even had to take a medical leave on three occasions because of debilitating symptoms.
On two medical leaves, I was working for mental health organizations, which shockingly didn’t treat me very well when I started my leave and even worse when I returned to work. Fortunately, during my last leave in 2014, I worked in a very supportive environment, and the experience was much better.
While significant strides have been made in establishing workplace wellness support and protecting individuals under the Human Rights Code in Ontario, the stigma surrounding mental health still needs to be addressed. Accessing mental health support and treatment also remains a significant challenge.
How To Help
Supporting someone dealing with mental health issues can be incredibly challenging because it is hard to know what to say or do. Often, if someone is in bad shape, chances are they don’t want to talk or see anyone. Yet, support can make a significant difference in their recovery journey. Here are a few tips to help you effectively support someone facing these challenges:
1. Educate Yourself About Mental Health
Understand Their Condition: Research the specific mental health issue they are facing, such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc. Knowing the symptoms, triggers, and treatment options can help you understand their experiences better.
Recognize Common Myths That Contribute To Stigma: Be aware of misconceptions about mental health, such as “it’s just a phase” or “they should just try harder.” Understanding these misconceptions will help you communicate more empathetically.
2. Be Supportive
Be a Good Listener: Offer a non-judgmental space for them to share their feelings. Use active listening skills, such as nodding and responding appropriately, to show you are engaged.
Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions by saying things like, “It’s okay to feel this way,” or “I can see this is really hard for you.” Validation helps them feel understood.
Avoid Minimizing Their Struggles: Phrases like “others have it worse” or “what do you have to be depressed about?” are dismissive. Instead, focus on their feelings and experiences.
Stay in Touch: Find ways to stay in touch—send a text, email, card, or call telling them you are thinking about them. They may not respond, but stay in touch anyway. Engage in activities to help lift their mood, like hiking, watching a movie, and going to a cafe.
Ask, “How can I Help?” or Offer Help with Daily Tasks: Sometimes, people struggling with mental health issues may struggle to manage daily responsibilities. Offer to help with errands, drop off food, or do their laundry.
Encourage Healthy Habits- Encourage regular exercise, a healthy diet, and regular sleep.
3. Encourage Professional Help
Suggest Therapy: Encourage them to seek professional help if they haven’t already. You can say, “Have you thought about talking to a therapist? It might really help.”
Offer to Help Find Resources: Navigating the mental health system can be daunting. Offer to help them research therapists, support groups, or mental health resources in their area. You might also offer to accompany them to an appointment if they feel anxious.
4. Be Patient and Understanding
Recognize That Progress Takes Time: Recovery is not linear. Setbacks may occur, and that’s okay.
Avoid Pushing Too Hard: While it’s important to encourage them, pushing them to talk or to seek help can backfire. Let them set their own pace.
5. Take Care of Yourself
Set Boundaries: Supporting someone with mental health challenges can be emotionally taxing. Set healthy boundaries to protect your own mental health.
Seek Support for Yourself: Consider talking to someone about your feelings or joining a support group for friends and family of individuals with mental health issues.
6. Know What to Do in a Crisis
Recognize Warning Signs: Be aware of signs that might indicate a crisis, such as talking about self-harm or feeling hopeless, and take them seriously.
Have a Crisis Plan: Know emergency contact numbers (such as crisis hotlines) and local mental health services. If necessary, don’t hesitate to call for professional help.
Did you know psychiatric hospitals like CAMH in Toronto don’t have a gift shop? This has always astounded me because all general hospitals have gift shops. Does CAMH think that their inpatients aren’t going to have any visitors or that they are not worthy of gifts?
Ask yourself, how would you support someone dear to you if they were recovering from cancer treatment or surgery? Chances are, you would bring them food, run errands for them, and take them to follow-up appointments. Offering these things to someone struggling with their mental health is no different. It’s the same. Mental health is part of health.
When I was on a medical leave for depression, there were some individuals close to me who I didn’t hear from very often, or not at all. I don’t hold it against them because I think they felt helpless, but asking me if I needed anything, dropping off a meal, or sending a card or email would have helped enormously. Friends and family who did check in helped me feel hopeful, and that recovery was possible.
During my last severe bout with depression in 2014, my husband Ben was a fantastic combination of loving support and a bit of tough love. When I started my leave, he told me he would let me have one week on the couch to mope, and then I had to go outside every day, no matter what. There was not one day when I felt like going out. Still, I had so many appointments with my therapist, family doctor, psychiatrist, group therapy, and physical health appointments, that I had an appointment almost every day that forced me to get out. Having some structure and daily movement was monumental in my recovery.
What seems tiny and insignificant might be the nudge someone needs to keep them going, motivate them to go for a walk, or reach out for help. When you are in a mental health crisis, your thoughts about yourself and the world can get dark and knowing that you matter and that someone else is thinking about you is incredibly important.
I encourage everyone to check in on family or friends who are struggling. If you are the one struggling, then please talk to someone. I wrote about personal mental health in a previous blog- Mental Health Month
Be well.
Anita
DISCLAIMER; The information provided on County Yoga Loft’s website blog is for general health care informational purposes only. All information on the site is provided in good faith. However, it should not replace consultation or advice from a physician and/or other healthcare practitioners. The use or reliance of any information contained on this site is solely at your own risk.
