Book Review; “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle.

About Glennon Doyle 

She is an American author of the bestsellers "Carry On Warrior", "Love Warrior ", and "Untamed.” Before becoming a published writer, she created an online community called "Momastery:  She is also an activist and founded a non-profit organization called Together Rising that supports women, families and children in crisis throughout the world.  She recently started a podcast called "We Can Do Hard Things."

Her earlier works focused on her marriage, recommitting to this marriage after her husband's infidelity, raising 3 children, and her Christian faith.  Doyle was in Chicago on a book tour promoting "Love Warrior" and met Abby Wambach, who was promoting her memoir "Forward."   

The first line of "Untamed" gives the reader of sense of what Doyle will be revealing:

"Four years ago, married to the father of my three children, I fell in love with a woman." 

Doyle unpacks the many changes and challenges in her life since her first two memoirs, including her divorce from her husband and her marriage to the soccer star Abby Wambach, all within one year.  

It's an easy read that tells one inspiring story after another in a somewhat incongruent way, like a collection of blog posts and random thoughts.    She reflects on upsetting her children's lives to follow her heart, sisterhood, body image, understanding racism as a white woman, and how to be true to yourself.  

I appreciated her courage and brutal honesty. At times I found her annoying, especially when her tone seems a bit arrogant and self-righteous, and there are a few passages in which she quotes an exchange with one of her children or family members. The writing of the dialogue is a tad too perfect to seem realistic. However,  I found it easy to put aside a few eye-rolling moments to find value in the gems of wisdom she shares.   

Some readers may be appalled at what seems to be her selfish nature.  I mean, who leaves their husband, disrupts the lives of their children, to marry a woman that she hasn't known for very long.  This is something that most women wouldn't dream of doing.  Yet, I admire her for putting her needs first, following her heart, and having what seems to be a happy ending.  Her children have adjusted and accepted Abby as another parent and her ex-husband Craig plays on the same soccer team as Abby.  I think this is beautiful.  

There are strong feminist themes as she discusses how women are tamed from birth by patriarchy, struggles with misogyny, religious doctrine and homophobia.  There is also a consistent message of freedom and liberation and not doing what is expected because we are women.   She gave my head a good shake. 

Some of my favourite quotes

"When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself." 

"This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they've never been." 

"I will not stay, not ever again - in a room or conversation or relationship or institution that requires me to abandon myself." 

"Mothers have martyred themselves in their children's names since the beginning of time. We have lived as if she who disappears the most loves the most. We have been conditioned to prove our love by slowly ceasing to exist. 

”If we keep passing down the legacy of martyrdom to our daughters, with whom does it end? Which woman ever gets to live? And when does the death sentence begin? At the wedding altar? In the delivery room? Whose delivery room—our children's or our own? When we call martyrdom love we teach our children that when love begins, life ends. This is why Jung suggested: There is no greater burden on a child than the unlived life of a parent." 

"Blessed are those brave enough to make things awkward, for they wake us up and move us forward." 

"Be careful with the stories you tell about yourself"." 

"The only thing that was every wrong with me was my belief that there was something wrong with me." 

"A woman becomes a responsible parent when she stops being an obedient daughter" 

"Hard work is important. So are play and nonproductivity. My worth is tied not to my productivity but to my existence. I am worthy of rest." 

"Here's to The Untamed:
May we know them.
May we raise them.
May we love them.
May we read them.
May we elect them.
May we be them." 

My most favourite quote and one I think about a lot:

"We Can Do Hard Things." 

Be well.

Anita