Be Impeccable with Your Word.
In a November blog, I wrote about the best-selling book, The Four Agreements, stating that it was one of my favourite self-discovery and personal growth books. I’ve read the book many times and often revisit it when I feel derailed and overwhelmed with limiting beliefs. Its profound and straightforward wisdom grounds me and has provided me with a code of conduct that can easily be applied to daily life.
The Four Agreements
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Don’t Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best
I also mentioned in my November blog that I would write about each agreement in more detail. With this blog, I’m starting with The First Agreement:
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your words in the direction of truth and love.
How I’ve used this wisdom.
Words Have Power
They can cut deeply or lift you. Think about a time when someone complimented you or said lovely things to you with kindness. How did you feel? Awesome, I hope. Now think about times when someone has said something unkind to you. How did you feel? Horrible! Unfortunately, we are more likely to dwell on negative comments than positive ones. Unkindness and insults are destructive and can contort your self-esteem. It’s been a while since someone has said something unkind to me because I refuse to spend time with people that will stoop this low. However, it occasionally happens, and I used to feel so thrown off that I didn’t know what to say. Now I pay more attention, and if someone says something unkind to me, I’ll give them a confused look and say, “Excuse me?” Most of the time, it gives them a minute to think about what they’ve said, and they often will apologize.
What words do you say to yourself? I wrote about this in my Love Thyself Blog. Pay attention to what you tell yourself all day and focus on encouraging and supportive discourse.
Also, speaking with intention and saying what you mean can ensure you are heard and avoid misunderstandings.
Avoiding Gossip
We all talk about others. It can be a great way to connect, and sometimes you need to debrief about a situation with someone. It is often relatively innocent and harmless if we provide an update on someone or express concern. It becomes a problem and gossip when you regularly say negative things about someone behind their back. Along with the guidance of Be Impeccable With Your Word, consider making THINK (see below) a habit before you speak about others or yourself.
One aspect of this that I have been working on and committing to is not telling others’ stories without their permission, especially if the person has said, “please do not tell anyone this.” If you find yourself saying to someone, "I shouldn’t tell you this, " that is a big, waving red flag to zip it. There are things that people have said to me that I haven’t shared with my husband, and he hasn’t shared with me because we kept our word that we wouldn’t. When you tell something to someone in confidence, don’t you appreciate that they haven’t told others?
Gossip can be a habit and a knee-jerk reaction, and we’ve all found ourselves in this harmful loop. I worked with someone who thrived on gossip, which seemed the only way they could connect with others. I learned not to respond to their gossip or quickly change the subject, and they figured out that I wasn’t interested in participating.
Do What You Say You're Going To Do
You want to have this level of integrity and show that you are trustworthy and reliable to yourself and others. Do you agree to things too quickly because you are afraid of disappointment? If this is a challenge, say, “I’m not sure and will get back to you.” If you do commit, fully commit.
I’ve noticed that I’ve had a habit lately of saying to people: “I’ll email you that information or text a link to the site we discussed,” and then I completely forget and don’t follow through. However, I’m paying more attention to this and now send a quick text to myself to remind me what I promised to do.
“Impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom, success and abundance.” -Don Miguel Ruiz
Be well, and watch your tongue ;)
Anita
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