Love is a Verb.
My beautiful daughter Elsa and her fabulous husband Ross were married on July 22nd. It’s been a long time since I experienced so much love and affection. People from all over North America and England made the trek to celebrate their love. And celebrate we did, to the point where we questioned the strength of the church floor when it started to move during a dancing frenzy.
During her thank you speech, Elsa mentioned that I often told her that love was a feeling and a verb when she was younger. Her usual response was one of teenage indignation, eye rolling and big sighs, and I smiled when, decades later, she used Love is a Verb in her wedding speech.
This magical day encompassed many types of love that Greek philosophers identify as:
Romantic Love (Eros)
Familial Love (Storge)
Platonic Love (Philia)
Self-love (Philautia)
Guest Love (Xenia)
Unconditional Love (Agape)
We have all experienced these forms of love, and I’m referring to the positive states of love, not the obsessive, co-dependent, or controlling types.
Is love a verb or a noun?
It’s both. As a noun, it’s a bit abstract and can be an idea, feeling, or expression. As a verb, love is an act of affection and showing love through action.
Many years ago, I dated a guy who could readily profess his love for me through words, and unfortunately, I fell for this and thought he must love me because he tells me so all the time. His actions were questionable; he refused to plan anything, would often disappear, and could not be counted on. Luckily I didn’t invest too much time in the relationship and ended it. I knew that I wanted and deserved more, and around this time, I first heard of the term Love is a Verb. When I started dating again, I paid very close attention to this.
My husband, Ben, tells me he loves me occasionally. More importantly, he always shows me through his actions by being reliable, making me a priority, having my back, and doing what he can to make me happy. I do my best to give him the same.
We are all familiar with the feeling of love, but what do you think when you hear that Love is a Verb?
You can show love to yourself, your family and friends, and your community through your actions by:
Being patient
Being kind
Being compassionate
Being selfless
Showing empathy
Displaying affection
Love can and should be given to strangers. For example, imagine you are driving behind someone when you are in a hurry, and they are moving slower than the speed limit, and a typical knee-jerk reaction; “What are they doing? Hurry up.” They may have very valid reasons why they are driving so slowly. Perhaps this is the first time they have been in their car since a severe injury a year ago, or maybe they just left the hospital after receiving the news that a loved one passed away, or they were just laid off and are petrified about their future. Most of the time, we have no idea, what is going on with people, and because of this, we make ridiculous assumptions that they are deliberating, trying to ruin our day. Instead of going down this negative path, silently say, “I wish you well,” and send love.
We can also use this type of compassion for individuals that we undeniably love; parent, sibling, child, spouse, or best friend, when we are annoyed or angry with them, or they have done something that has hurt us. In these situations, ask yourself, what would LOVE do? Love would be patient, give space, and if a response is needed, will do so in a kind way.
My senior dog Peggy is the epitome of Love is a Verb. I’ve never seen a purer example of unconditional love than from her, and she has taught me so much. Dogs are more evolved than humans and love unconditionally and don’t care if you are rich or poor, or about your size, race, or religion, and even if you haven’t spent the time with them that they deserve, they are still over the moon when you walk through the door.
I’m a fan of the Dalai Lama’s teachings and have seen him speak many times. He often talks about compassion and states that showing compassion to those you love is easy, but showing compassion for individuals you do not like or cannot stand is the ultimate spiritual challenge.
So, continue to feel love, but always think of ways to show and give love.
With love,
Anita
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