It’s time to Break Up with your Limiting Beliefs & Negative Thoughts!
What are your limiting beliefs and thoughts?
There is only one way to find out! Still your mind, observe and listen. How do you still your mind? Find a quiet place to be alone, without conversations, devices, or distractions. A walk in nature is perfect Take some breaths, just be and notice. What are your core beliefs about yourself and your life? What are your default thoughts?
Examples of Core Beliefs that are not serving you.
I don’t deserve happiness.
I don’t deserve love.
That’s (love, wealth, health, or opportunities) for others, not for me, not for us.
If they are doing well, who did they rip off?
Everyone in my family ended up with heart disease, so it’s in my genes and my fate.
Examples of Default Thoughts that are not serving you.
I’m such an idiot.
I let it happen again. What a loser.
I never do anything right.
No one likes me.
It’s just how I am.
Maybe you have always had similar beliefs and thoughts about yourself and the world and feel it’s impossible to change. I want to challenge and encourage you that change is always possible. The key to making change is a strong desire to want it and a willingness to put in the work. Unfortunately, there’s no waving a magic wand and viola; you have everything you desire. I wish it were that simple. When I say work, I don’t mean all day, every day. Ease into it and spend 10 minutes a day working on this. It would help if you were consistent, committed and believed in possibilities.
Here are some suggestions to consider. You do not need to try all of them or in any particular order. I do recommend starting with awareness, and then try what resonates with you:
Awareness
If we were able to make a recording of the thousands of thoughts and beliefs that loop in our minds, we would be shocked at the terrible things we say and think about ourselves and others.
Thank goodness it’s impossible to record our thoughts. You do want to start paying attention, so start by noticing what your prominent thoughts and feelings are. Be curious. Do your defaults involve complaining, judgment, resentment or self-loathing?
Reaching for better feelings or thoughts.
Nothing is more important than feeling good. Life will always give you situations that challenge this, especially if you are in a crisis or dealing with a significant loss. In those moments, it makes sense that feeling good is not in the realm of possibility. This tool is helpful for the everyday roller coaster ride our thoughts and emotions take us on every day. This Emotional Guidance Scale has helped me figure out what I’m feeling and has shown me alternatives so I can move towards better feelings. Say I’m Angry at someone or about something. Is it possible for me to move up the scale to Disappointment, knowing that Joy would be too much of a leap? What if I’m dealing with Worry? Can I move toward Hopefulness? In many instances, certainly not all, I’ve been able to move away from the stronger, more negative emotions.
Stop judging yourself and others.
How often throughout the day are you judging yourself and others? What do you say to yourself, or maybe even out loud, when you look in the mirror? “There’s another wrinkle. Why can’t I lose weight? I hate my nose”. How about shifting this towards saying nothing and then moving towards, “you look good today”. If someone cuts you off in traffic or is rude to you in the grocery store, do you immediately judge them and think, “what a jerk”? They may very well be a jerk, but often, we have no idea what is going on with someone in a situation like this, and they might have just left the hospital where their spouse is in the ICU. Instead of judging them, let it go, or silently send them the blessing, “I wish you well. “
Focus on gratitude.
Have an attitude of gratitude. After becoming more aware of what was taking up real estate in my mind, I started focusing on gratitude. I wrote in my first gratitude journal close to 20 years ago. Before I went to bed, I wrote down five things I was grateful for. Initially, it was a challenging task, and many of my entries were “I’m grateful this day is over” or “I’m grateful for the blue sky.” Over time, it became more accessible, and after a few months, I could easily list 20 things to be grateful for. This has had the most significant impact on everything I’ve done to change my thinking. It shifts your perspective because you start to look for something to be grateful for, and when you do that, you’ll have more things to be thankful for. I started using the Five Minute Journal a few years ago, which has helped with consistency. If writing in a journal is not your thing, then verbalize a few things you are grateful for at the end of each day.
Work with affirmations.
Repeating positive affirmations to yourself throughout your day is an excellent place to start. Even when you don’t believe them, and they are not accurate now. Always make your statements in the present tense such as I am or I have. It’s like planting a seed in your subconscious mind. With consistency, slowly, you will start to notice changes.
For example I don’t want to be broke, becomes I am prosperous.
I’m scared of becoming sick, becomes I am healthy.
Shakti Gawain has written some excellent books on this topic, and one of my favourite books by Louise Hay, “You Can Health Your Life” (same name as the movie), is amazing and you can take your time working through each section. I’ve read this book at least ten times!
One of my favourite new affirmations:
I’m open & receptive to the opportunities & abundance
that the universe has to offer.
It’s understandable if all of this feels overwhelming. I encourage you to ease into it. Start with awareness by taking inventory of your beliefs, thoughts and emotions, and work on this for a few weeks. Then start to focus on one of the above suggestions, or check out some of the resources I’ve mentioned. It’s time to tell your limiting beliefs and negative thinking to hit the road. You are done with them.
If you aren’t happy, not enjoying life the way you would like, and are resistant to change, you will remain stuck and won’t see any change.
Be well & know that you are worth it.
Anita